How you define rules and norms?

Say the truth although it hurts.

Seperti kata hadist: jika melihat kemungkaran,ubah dg tanganmu, suaramu, atau setidak2nya dg hatimu –walaupun menunjukkan selemah-lemahnya iman kita. Tapi sungguh, saya percaya bahwa hadist itu menjelaskan pada kita betapa pentingnya bersikap terhadap kebenaran. I do believe.

Bukan kebenaran versi kita yang bisa jadi bersifat sangat subjektif, apalagi kebenaran yang bisa dibantah-bantahkan. Kebenaran yang saya maksudkan disini, adalah kebenaran yang sudah diyakini berdasarkan hukum. Entah itu hukum positif dalam negara yang selayaknya kita patuhi sebagai warga negara, atau hukum agama yang sudah pasti wajib kita patuhi sebagai orang yang beragama. State’s rules. Family’s rules. Religion’s rules. Any rules. For example, apa yang diperbolehkan menurut agama, dari dulu sampai sekarang, hukumnya akan tetap boleh, halal. Begitu juga sebaliknya, vice versa.

The world may change, people can change, but as long as people live there will always be norms and rules that they must obey. People are ruled by these norms, even when we are now live in the digital era, a borderless world, virtual world. Era internet yang mungkin masih ada banyak orang yg berfikir bahwa itu hanya dunia maya, dunia yang terpisah dari kehidupan kita. A place where you can play as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Janus bermuka dua, bipolar character, or playing any of your alters.

Come on people, it doesn’t work that way. You can’t be that naïve to think that way. Even in the digital era where people can easily interact without any border, borderless world they say, there are some rules that must be obey. Norms, so to say. Once you start thinking that you can simply put aside these norms or simplify them for the sake of global trends, and defend yourself for being a 'trend follower' and follow what others do, and you think that it is safe to be like that, perhaps you should just leave all the norms you believe in your real life.

They are not different, not at all. If you believe that in the real life you are ruled by these norms and obey them, then why can’t those norms applied on you in your virtual life? To simply take example, if you obey the State’s rule for not doing crime, will it be different if you do it in your virtual life –through the medium of internet? If you can be pursued and arrested by doing a terror to other people, do you think you are free to do that in the internet?

Hahah! If things can be simply separated like that, then Prita’s case in Indonesia should not have happened. Another example, if as a moslem you are forbidden to kiss someone who is not your muhrim, what makes you think you can do it in the internet? Of course, kissing a person through the internet won’t be the same as if you kiss him/her directly. No need to argue about it :-)

The above examples can be extended in any forms. But hey, my point is, you are what you say. You are what you do. You are what you mean to say and do. It’s not about the trend, it’s not about a borderless interaction, and it’s not about how cool or cute it may look like to follow trends. There are no justifications accepted for such things. If you, for example, send a hug to someone else through the internet, say facebook for example, is it wrong if people think that you are mean with it?

I’m not debating on whether it’s a friendship hug or cutie bear hug or even, worse than that, a special hug for someone opposite your gender. And tell me, anyone, is it wrong if you think –no matter who you are, your background, your educational level, your physical look, or even your circle of friendship - that the hug is not acceptable according to the norms that you believe? Especially if the norms are derived from religion. They are Omni presence, berlaku dimana saja, baik di dunia nyata ataupun di dunia maya. Aturan-Nya menembus batas dan zona tempat dan waktu, dan itu berlaku buat semua orang yang percaya pada-Nya, meyakini aturan-Nya.

So don’t say it’s nothing or meaningless. No one would believe that. People would feel happy to receive a friendly messages or hugs from their friends, coz they are symbols. And every symbol has a meaning. A kiss, hugs, smiles, pokes, words, pictures, whatsoever. And, if for example, someone feels irritated or jealous because of things you send to his/her loved one although they are only pictures, or words, or virtual hug or kiss or whatsoever, do you think he/she is just being over reactive? Lebay? Gee….so what’s the point of sending flowers for your loved one as a symbol of love, for example? Why bother sending messages or cards or emails to your friends or families or colleagues in their special day or in any occasion? Nonsense.

Menurut anda ucapan saya berlebihan? Masih tidak percaya bahwa aturan dalam dunia maya dan dunia nyata tidak sama? Let me give you another example about how positive rule can be applied on virtual world, dunia internet. Shannon D Jackson, a woman in a city named Hendersonville, are arrested just because she poke one of her friend in her FB, while she was told by the court to stay away from that person she poked in FB. She was then arrested with an accusation of breaking the law. The case is real, my friend. Just goggling and find the news if you don’t trust me.

In the end, I can only say be careful with what you do or say in internet, in FB, in any of social networking websites or blogs. Even if you think it’s nothing, it can be something for someone else. What you think is only trends, can be considered as inappropriate according to the norms for someone else. You can’t blame people for being different, to think different.


Jakarta, February 13, 2010